Do you remember a particular time when you were a child that you wish your parents had handled things differently? Maybe one of your parents were insensitive about something that was important to you. What did you start to think about yourself because of that situation? Did you think that maybe what is important to you isn't important to them, so maybe what you want in life doesn't matter? There are so many events, big and small, in our lives that can leave big or small chinks in our armor. We create beliefs about ourselves that work as a coping mechanism at the time, but over time are a stumbling block to what we really want out of life. Our brains are amazing. We can recreate an event in our mind and as we replay that event again, the way we wished it would be, our brain accepts that as true. We often do that anyway. The way I remember something and the way my child remembers something is often very different, even though we were both present and involved in the same thing.
That's one of my favorite parts of Integrative Processing Technique (IPT)! It feels so good to be able to have a redo of an event, to be able to hear what you really needed at the time, to see their loving intent. Everyone has challenges in their lives that create how we handle situations. Sometimes your parents handle things the way their parents did, ways that they swore they would never do (have you ever done that?), but when it comes down to it, they may not have had enough experience in another method to be able to pull it up when they need it, and just fall back to what is familiar. MOST parents are just doing the best they can. But if you get a redo, get to hear what you needed, it's so much easier to move on, re-evaluate how you coped and began to think about yourself and realize it was a lie. Letting go.
Some day I hope to get to a point where I can process myself and work through those areas in my life that hold me back. I'm sure I will get to that point eventually!!
You can find the change and healing you desire. Just be brave!